When the School Bus Came

At the end of the summer 2001, I surrendered. I put both my sons into school against my own better judgement and wishes. I cursed the world for allowing my ex-husband (and all the others involved ) to keep me from doing what I knew was right. My severely autistic son did not get taken…

Red Letters

My neighbor started out by complaining about what my boyfriend had dumped in the compost. But it turned out that was only the tip of the iceberg. It turned out my neighbor had a long list of problems with me. I was okay with her list until she got to my son. My severely autistic…

Graveyard Dream

Ever fall asleep in a graveyard? I used to go there to get away from home, I had no friends. I would lay in the sun, my thirteenth summer, in the afternoons listening to the crows caw, wishing I could stay on that grave covered hill and never go home. Drifting off to sleep, I…

I Like Esther

The International Day of Women was this week and March is Women’s History Month, but it’s hard for me to write about women I admire. I think that’s because for most of my childhood I was force fed the feminist idea that women were supposed to want it all, career and family, as well as…

What is Murder?

“Do you want me to kill you?” These are the darkest words a mother may ask her own child, when she sees them suffer. My son seemed so angry during puberty as he became an adult. He was violent as he never was before. It is a very painful time for autistic people. It is…

What’s In A Word

This is the oldest,  the strongest, magic I know. Start with a word,  speak it aloud,  watch it grow. It will come to be,  sometimes fast,  sometimes slow. In the beginning,  the words made  shape from shadow. Now at the end,  we are parted  by the word “no.” We walked together, hand in hand, and you…

The Root of All Evil

Money may not be truly evil, but interest, especially compound interest is a leading candidate. What better, more efficient mechanism has man created to keep the rich getting richer off the poor getting poorer at an ever increasing rate. For only the rich can lend and only the poor must borrow. Here is where legal…

Honor All Parents

“When you’re a child you think your parents know everything, when you are a teenager you hate your parents for not knowing everything, when you forgive your parents for being human, then you are an adult.” – my daughter I love her so much for that. It helped me learn to forgive myself. I was…

Quickening Moon

Quickening Moon Looking at different names for the full moon of February, I decided the Wiccan Quickening fit best for this year. The Snow moon didn’t work because we just had a lovely weather warm up. Most of our snow has melted. The Hunger moon feels at odds with my sense of being overwhelmed by…

The Blessing of Roots

I can’t watch Alex Haley’s TV miniseries without going back in time to my childhood. I loved it, because it said something I rarely heard growing up. It said family was important. Not in the family that is rich or influential way, but in the knowing who you are, where you came from as a…

Live Simply

Today I had to relight the pilot on our hot water heater. It was no problem once I looked it up online and could see from the pictures that I had the knob in the wrong position. Hot water may not be a necessity but it is pretty high on my list of things I’d…

A Day of Meditative Worship

The Quran itself says: “O you who believe! When the call to prayer is proclaimed on Friday, hasten earnestly to the remembrance of God, and leave aside business. That is best for you if you but knew” (Quran 62:9). When I was young and wondering why Islam celebrates Friday as a holy day, I had…